REAL[ITY] CHECK - 2/29/2008

My obsession with reality shows has reached new heights. This week I got my hair cut to look like Lauren from The Hills. Here's what I caught when I wasn't trying to look like a similebrity:

• On the Flavor of Love, Flavor Flav took his date to the classiest place he could think of: Tony Romas. Nothing says romance like ribs and wet naps.
• In the showdown between Rami Kashou and Chris March for the final spot to show at fashion week on the finale of Project Runway, Chris showed a collection that featured human hair as an accent. Unbeweaveable.
• Everybody's still losing their sh*t on Celebrity Rehab. From what I hear, some managed to get it all out while in rehab, others, not so much (Story).
• The mother that appeared on this week's Supernanny was the first in the show's history to leave the table at the lesson Jo Jo, the supernanny, was trying to teach her and refused to come back. She was promptly put in her place.
• On America's Next Top Model, one of the girls confesses in panel that she's not really into fashion at all, and doesn't get it and would like to be eliminated. Needless to say, her wish was granted. But seriously, wouldn't you know that before you were in the house, wasting everybody's time?
• Only a Matter of Time: It's only a matter of time before I become so obsessed with reality shows that I start taking steps to look like reality stars. Oh wait...

What the hell is wrong with people?

On the way home from work today, I was cut off. Pretty blatantly. I had to slam on my brakes in order to not hit the guy. So I honked at him.

Then the gesturing starts. He's throwing his arms up at me in his rearview mirror to let me know I was wrong to honk. I gesture back, putting my hands up as if to say, "you're really gesturing at me about this?".

He then gets into the next lane over, presumably cutting off someone else in the process.

At this point we are side by side.

Then he starts with the yelling. Apparently the gesturing didn't get his point across. He hollers, "DIDN'T YOU SEE THE SIGNAL?!"

I must be in need of a refresher course of Driver's Ed. because when I took the course in high school, the answer to this multiple choice question:

When is it acceptable to cut people off forcing them to slam on the brakes?
a. It is never acceptable to cut people off.
b. When your wife/baby mama is in labor
c. When you signal first
d. When you are on your cell phone
e. It is always acceptable to cut people off forcing them to slam on the brakes.

was neither c. nor e.

REAL[ITY] CHECK - 2/15/2008

There was TONS of good stuff this week, so let's get to it.

• On Snoop Dogg's Father Hood Snoop's kids learned very important life lessons from Snoop's cousin, Joe Cool, "Never smoke a pipe. Never touch another man. Never suck another man's dick. Never suck your own dick."
• This week I caught a little known show called Jail, where people are shown being booked and held in jails across the country. I tuned in because the preview billed this particular episode as the OJ Simpson episode. I will tune in next week because one of the staff members says to one inmate, "You're here more than I am, you know the rules".
• One of the husbands on Wife Swap claims to be proud of the fact that he has brainwashed his children, because, according to him, brainwashing entails being washed as a part of God's love. The man should be "washed" of his parental rights.
• Flavor of Love is back for a third season. Doctors in the LA area will soon start to see the return of Flavorrhea.
  
• On the last real episode of Project Runway before the finale, the most shocking thing was not that both Chris and Rami are going to be completing collections and competing for the third spot at Fashion Week, it was the peek of garter I saw under Gillian's dress when she jumped up and down after getting a spot in the final three.
  
• Only a matter of time: At the elimination ceremony on Rock of Love, Aubry decided to sacrifice herself to save Kristi Joe's place in the house. Moments after her dramatic exit from the house, we find out, he was getting rid of her anyway. Once Kristie Joe gets inevitably kicked off, I'll put money on them getting their own show together. That kind of love doesn't come along very often.
  

Moderation

Why is it so hard for people to grasp the concept of moderation?

I'm talking in the context of eating and exercising, but I'm sure the lesson can be applied elsewhere.

My mom forwarded me an article this morning that was about a study done in which rats were either given saccharin (like the stuff used in diet drinks) or sugar (like the stuff that actually tastes good). The rats given saccharin gained more weight than the rats given sugar.

Why?

Because the rats given sugar didn't overeat as much as the saccharin rats. The saccharin appeared not to trigger the "full" feeling that was triggered in the sugar rats.

So everyone that's given me shit about drinking my regular, full-calorie Coca-colas can suck it. That includes my male boss who has been quoted as saying, "Wow... I didn't know anyone drank regular Coke anymore" and "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips".

Also today, one of my friends brought me and another one of our friends a flourless chocolate tort. It was insanely good, but probably not very healthy (although, as she pointed out, it had tons of protein and antioxidants from the 9 eggs and tons of cocoa that went into the recipe). I got copied on the thank you from our other friend for hers. It said thank you and had tons of praise, but she said that she kept trying to start her diet because so many delicious things kept happening.

As an aside: she absolutely does not need to be on a diet.

Another friend was trying not to eat cheese for a week because so much of what she eats had cheese in it and she decided it wasn't good for her. After three days, she "fell off the wagon".

If we wait until nothing comes up, or we behave perfectly, we'll never start or continue anything. I think this is the problem with people thinking of dieting or exercising as "on the wagon" or "off the wagon".

People should strive to do the best they can, focus on the successes and not harp on the failures.

I never make vows like "I'm going to bring my lunch every day for a month" or "I'm going to work out every day for a week". I know that's not realistic for me, and I know once I've "fallen off the wagon", I say "Screw it" and I'm back to eating out and laying on my couch every day.

If we could all just learn the concept of more or less, rather than all or nothing, we'd all be happier, healthier people.

Untitled

Paris's name is bigger than the movie's name. Inexplicable. I have no words.

Grabbing the bull by the, ahem... horns

The cool kids over at NOTCOT found this anatomic bull:

But I prefer the VERY anatomically correct bull (maybe a little too anatomically correct) I spotted on my road trip a few months ago in rural Georgia:

REAL[ITY] CHECK - 1/25/2008

So I'm a complete reality show junkie, so each week I'll be summing up what I believe to be the most outstanding/craziest/rock-bottom moments in reality shows for the week and posting them on my friend's blog The Media Artist. For now, I'll also be posting them here.

So here they are:

• This week on Project Runway, their challenge was to "create an iconic look that captures the spirit of the 501 legacy (I wonder how long they agonized over this sentence before finalizing it)". Here's my beef: Rami made a skirt and top out of dark denim with zippers as accent seams (See right). The judges fawned over how "innovative" the zippers as seams were. They would have been innovative if Jeffrey, the winner of last season hadn't done the same thing, only better:

• The best part of the premiere of The Millionaire Matchmaker came during the never-before-seen-footage of The Real Housewives of Orange County during a commercial break, in which Vicki, one of the housewives, says that her doctor had run a test on her and it came back that she had as much testosterone as the average man. If you've ever watched the show, you won't be surprised to learn this.
• On the premiere of The Gauntlet III, CT says that he is going to "make it a point to lay a little lower". He accomplishes this by getting in the face of quite possibly the most notorious contestant in Challenge history, Coral, and causing problems in his relationship... all in the first night. And apparently Crazypants Brooke is a lesbian now? Crazy. Pants.
  
• And on Make Me A Supermodel, it's business as usual: All S&M, All the Time.
• This remix of Tanisha from The Bad Girls' Club's freak out is better than half of the stuff on the radio (See here).
  
• Only a Matter of Time: A dating show called The Drew Peterson Dating Game was pitched to an Illinois radio station by the lawyer of the police sergeant suspected of killing his wife, and who is also being investigated for his previous wife's suspicious death (Story). The radio station didn't bite, but I know there's some sleazeball exec pushing hardcore for this to be the new show in VH1's dating show lineup. 25 to Life of Love anyone?

Who wants poultry?

Forget the trite at best headline, the pizza looks like a meal lovingly prepared by a mama bird for her chick, i.e. chewed and swallowed then regurgitated for the baby bird to consume.

A message to friends, family, celebrities and sea monkeys

Quit with the dying please.

Pain/Pleasure Receptors

If someone is obese, do they feel pain (or pleasure for that matter) less intensely than someone who is skinny? Are the nerve endings that receive the pain or pleasure signals forced to spread out over a wider area so that there are less per square inch in obese people than in skinny people, or do obese people develop more nerve endings to compensate?

Has there ever been a study done on this?