GET RICH[ER] QUICK

For those of you who don't know me (all two-ish of you) I have a pretty interesting work environment. I am fairly confident I'm being taped for a reality show, the reality version of the hit NBC show, The Office, complete with our own Jim, secret office romance, and unspeakably ridiculous boss.

One of the things we do to pass time (and boost ratings!), is we come up with Get Rich Quick Schemes so we can quit our jobs and live in the lap of luxury. In light of our Jim transferring to a new department, and leaving me to complete his work, I have decided to fast-track my getting rich by sharing the ideas we've come up with so far. If interested, please leave me a comment and I will entertain the idea of you making me rich. Don't try and steal these, I'll sue you (Get Rich Quick Scheme #14). So here they are:

1. Mouth guard to cover teeth to prevent tooth decay for bulimics
2. Video crew to document embarrassing moments at holiday parties, weddings, anywhere alcohol is abundant, and blackmail offending person
3. Gag gift of a large ear to give to someone who likes to talk but can't find willing listeners
4. Swarovski crystal rims for car
5. Pet parasites ("It'll keep you skinny!")
6. Football helmet shaped beanie hats
7. "La Oficina" - Spanish version of The Office
8. Kid size tanning beds with pictures/movies on the inside to keep them entertained so they'll stay in the full length of time (This will come in handy for stage moms entering their daughters in Lil' Miss beauty pageants.)
9. Tattoos visible-by-black-light-only for those who wish to live double lives
10. Roach clip for real roaches (inspired by our ant clip [We have an ant farm. Jealous...?])
11. Car tinting made of what the eyeglasses that change color according to how much light there is are made of
12. Eyebrow hair extensions
13. Move out to L.A. and buy beater cars, park outside popular nightclubs and wait for celebrities to hit you while driving drunk