REAL[ITY] CHECK - 4/11/2008

Screw reality shows... The Office is back!!!

But seriously, here's what happened this week:

• Daisy, from the Rock of Love, proved how out of her life her ex-boyfriend is by having his sister show up to represent Daisy's family.
• Tree got extra queeny at her objection speech on Flavor of Love.
• Lots to talk about on The Real Housewives of New York City. Bethenny and Jill plan a dinner party and invite Alex saying, "It's a girls' party, it's a girls' night". Alex responds, "Could I bring Simon?". Simon is her gayer than gay husband. Ramona dancing is reminiscent of Elaine Benes from Seinfeld. Luann puts Bethenny in her place when Bethenny wrongly introduces Luann to Bethenny's boyfriend's driver as "Luann", not "Mrs. De Lesseps".
• Rocky, from I Know My Kid's a Star, throws a tantrum in the confessional and says she's going to kill someone while gesturing wildly with a hanger in her hand. I don't think that's what is meant when they use the term "hanged".
• Only a Matter of Time: before all of the scripted shows are back and these updates get shorter and shorter...

That thing got a hemi?

I'm not knocking confidence, but it takes a certain amount of self-assuredness to rock a car wrap like the one I saw on my drive home today.


If you can't read it, the copy says, "The Painless Hemorrhoid Treatment Ultroid". And, forgive me, but is she rubbing the "painless hemorrhoid treatment" on her lips?

Fresh Cows

...And if cows were meant to be cooked and eaten, wouldn't they come from the fiery pits of Hell?

REAL[ITY] CHECK - 4/4/2008

I know I didn't post last week, and I really have no good excuse, except that I'm lazy and I've been busy working on my pudge. Besides that, there wasn't a whole lot going on in reality TV last week. The one thing I feel is worth mentioning from last week was:

• The week before last on Flavor of Love, Flav kept Shy around on the condition that she go to the dentist for her kickin' breath. Shy dutifully went to the dentist and found out that she needed extensive dental work and that she would have dentures by the time she was 40 if she continued with her current habits. What was her response to this? Did she schedule a deep cleaning? Ask Flav for the money to get all of this fixed? No. She made a necklace out of mint lifesavers.

So here's this week:

• On Rock of Love, Bret found out this week that, in addition to currently living with her ex-boyfriend in a one bedroom apartment and having an abortion after getting pregnant by him, that Daisy used to hang out with Bret's bandmate from Poison, C. C. Deville. As if this isn't enough, she goes into hysterics at the elimination ceremony. He should just get back with Heather and be done with it.
• The Hills is back. Yawn.
• Holly won Make Me a Supermodel. She should use her $100,000 prize to buy a voice people can understand.
• Step It Up and Dance premiered this week with Elizabeth Berkley (!!!) hosting. Christian from Project Runway has some stiff competition in the fierce department from James, one of the contenders for Best Step It Up and Dancer (?).
• Only a Matter of Time: This week on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the sisters have an enlightening conversation with their 10 year old half sister about becoming a woman. Sister Kim is nowhere to be found. It's only a matter of time before another sex tape "leaks" to the media to regain her place in the "I'm Famous For No Reason" spotlight.