Thursday, January 17, 2008

Beautiful Men

There's a study that came out a while ago that seemed to state the obvious: men are more attracted to the most beautiful women. What the study found that isn't obvious is that women are attracted to the men they feel are within their grasp, i.e. men that are relatively close to their own perceived attractiveness.

I have no better evidence of the latter point than my evening a few Saturdays ago. I went to a bar with a friend of mine and spotted some eye candy as soon as I walked in. We got there pretty early and drinks were still a dollar. We got our drinks, found a table, sat back and enjoyed the show the guy I had spotted, and another guy my friend took a liking to, were putting on. They were up on the bar dancing… in tiny little briefs.

Did I forget to mention they were go-go dancers, the friend I was with was male, and we were at a gay club?

We stayed at our table for a while; drinking, and, for the most part, debated whether my boy played for my team or his. My friend dared me to go up to the bar and tip him, but I’m shy and I don’t approach guys, even if they are on a bar in a bikini, or maybe especially if they're on a bar in a bikini.

Another drink… still too shy.
A third drink…still too shy.

After my first full-price drink (ouch!), I became a little more open to suggestion. Even in my vodka and cranberry-fueled haze I could see that girls were throwing themselves at him IN A GAY BAR, and only in my vodka and cranberry-fueled haze was I one of the girls doing the throwing.

I gave him his tip and, though my recollection of the exchange is vague at best, it became clear that he does, in fact, play for my team. I believe I told him where I work three or four times, and aside from that, was not able to piece together a full thought. He asked for my phone number and I gave him what I believed to be my phone number at the time.

It turned out my phone number at the time was a combination of the first three digits of my mother’s phone number and the last four of my cell phone. My friend was nice enough to fix it.

I have to admit, I’m surprised he called.

Let me make this clear, this guy was way out of my league.

Even more surprising was that he called three times.

What was not surprising was that the messages he left were like scripts, identical down to the way he introduced himself, and the way he repeated his number twice in a row.

I haven’t returned any of his calls.

Why? Because the study was absolutely right in their findings. Women want someone that is a close match to themselves, not a guy who is good looking and knows it and is only looking to add to his revolving door of girls.

UPDATE: Alright, so I wrote this a few months ago and I've had some time to think about it. The truth is, I had just stopped seeing someone and wasn't really ready to start dating again. But now I am. So bring on the go-go dancers!